#1- "How many nights can you smack people?" -Cheryl while watching Friday Night Smackdown
#2- "Choke Daddy Out Jesse!" -Maddie, when an impromptu "Rasslin" match broke out during Friday Night Smackdown.
#3- "Don't grow a beard when you're older. Have a goatee or something. You'll look dangerous...like me." -Me, explaining to Jesse why not to grow a beard while watching a DVR'ed episode of Duck Dynasty.
#4- "No, you'll look like a bald weirdo." -Jesse's response to #3
#5- "I swear this lady standing by the fence said Amen!, after you finished you're pre-game speech thing. You had some fire and brimstone going there coach." -Frankie (My brother) at Jesse's football game Saturday
#6- "I'm a thief of footballs." -Jesse after his second or was it third interception this year.
#7- "All I saw was Maddie's cotton candy shaved ice sticky hands, and the tent that those people put up in front of me." -Cheryl, when asked if she saw the above mentioned interception or if she was moved by the pre-game motivational.
#8- "14-0...What the hell! Are you serious! What has Coach Saban been doing since last year? This is just a replay of what happened last year." -Me, while in the drive-thru at KFC getting food after Jesse's game listening to the Alabama game.
#9- "I guess I overreacted a little." -Me, after BAMA scored 35 unanswered points
#10- "I swear if I was Vito Corleone I would have Luca Brazi break Johnny "Flippin" Football's legs! I can promise you that!" -Me, after Johnny "Flippin" Football brought A&M back yet again.
#11- "The tock needs to click." -Me. obviously stressed about a certain game that just did not want to end.
#12- "Shut up, Dad!" -Jesse, watching the same game.
#13- "612 yards....well, you know half of that was due to some kinda Johnny "Flippin" Football sorcery. I think he dabbles in black magic." -Me, analyzing the Crimson Tide's 49-42 victory over Texas A&M.
#14- "I'm tired, I want to go to bad. I've had a long day." -Maddie, after all the football madness
#15- "I was filling out Maddie's Pre-K registration stuff, and it asked questions like can she identify opposites and past tense? Can she speak Spanish? Seriously?? I skipped over to the part that asked, Can she throw a ball....." -Cheryl, filling out insanely ridiculous Maddie school paperwork.